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Filed under: Humor, Special Theme Weeks, Summer 2011, Technology & Camping

APPS THAT NEED TO BE WRITTEN (or, What if you don’t own an iPhone?)

August 5, 2011 by · 4 Comments 

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This week, our editors have decreed that we should write about our favorite smart-phone apps.

This is, of course, dovetailing in with the release of the new, free, iPhone app by Woodall’s that gives you instant access to RV Park and campground information without the need to carry around a laptop computer or big, thick directory.

I think this is absolutely great – except I don’t own an iPhone.  So, all these new apps like the one from Woodall’s don’t do a thing for me – that is, unless I decide to lay down a hunk of cash for a new iPhone or agree to a 20 year provider contract that also demands the life of our first born child and the deed to our home.

OK – it isn’t really that bad.  It is just that I prefer NOT to get into contracts for things like phones, TV service, and such.  So, I usually end up buying my equipment from the bottom of the display shelf or off of e-Bay.

That is how my “smart phone” ended up being a Palm Pre rather than an iPhone or Android.  Don’t get me wrong – it is a pretty cool smart phone and has a great camera and display.  It just is not popular enough to get the latest and greatest apps like the new one from Woodall’s.

As it stands now my most frequently used app is Solitaire.  Yep, the beguine card game where you try to make all the Kings jump up and down at the end of the game by clearing the stacks along the bottom row.  Don’t laugh!  It is a great app for passing the time sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, stopped in a traffic gridlock, waiting for a plane or most anything where time and space come together to form a useless period in life

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Actually, the apps I really need have yet to be written.

Or at least I have yet to find them in any of the app stores I have visited.  Now, if some smart person can actually develop these apps I will buy the smart phone they run on in a heartbeat – even if I have to agree to a contract.

1.  The “Where Did I Leave My Glasses” app

This might require a small GPS sensor embedded in the earpiece of the glasses so the smart phone can track their location or perhaps a non-GPS sensor that sends out a radio signal.  In any event, such an app could save many wasted hours and frustration spent looking for the last place I absently mindedly set my glasses down and then walked off.

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2.  The “What Am I Here For” app

There are times, now occuring all to frequently, where I will go into a room to get something only to come to a dead halt upon arrival because I don’t remember what it was I came to retrieve or do.  Now, I guess I could use my smart-phone as a voice or message recorder and tell the thing what I am going for – then play back the message when I get there.  But, that is too involved and complicated.  I want an app that automatically reads my mind and prompts me when I forget what I am here for.

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3.  The “What’s-His-Name” app

You run into an old friend at a restaurant.  He (or she) calls you by name and begins with a conversation.  You search diligently in your memory, but despite all your efforts, it is simply impossible to remember their name.  To make it worse, you should introduce this person to the companion accompanying you.  So, you discretely snap a picture of their face with your smart phone’s camera and then let the app search the National Facial Recognition Database for their name.  Upon finding their name, you receive a fake text message, which you apologetically glance at, that gives you the person’s name!

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4.  The “Yes Dear” app (remember – I’m a guy)

You are watching the final moments of a football game on the TV, reading the latest Woodall’s Blog, or perhaps an important e-mail.  But, your wife/girlfriend/significant other starts talking to you.  You don’t want to be rude, so you allow the chatter to continue while occasionally muttering “Yes Dear” or nodding acknowledgement while you continue to focus on your prior activity.  Then, the crux occurs – You are asked a specific question that you can only answer if you were really listening.  But, lucky you, your smart-phone has a app that listens to your “other”, analyzes the rhetoric and provides via a Bluetooth transmitter to your hearing aid or hidden eyeglass earphone the response you should give.

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5.   Sorry, I forgot what number five is.

But I know it was important.

Maybe someone will submit an idea for a needed “senior app” in the comments section to fill in my blank spot?

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HAPPY CAMPING TRAILS TO ALL!

Comments

4 Responses to “APPS THAT NEED TO BE WRITTEN (or, What if you don’t own an iPhone?)”
  1. Russ Anderson says:

    not evryone is in love with Apple. when will your app be ready for Blackberry, Android phones etc?

  2. Doug Hornick says:

    I have been a long time subscriber to Woodall’s. I used to get the printed version back in the 90′s. I also have a Palm Pre. It’s a great phone. I would be thrilled if a version that works with the Palm could be coded for those of us who own them. Thank you.

  3. butterbean carpenter says:

    Howdy Randy Professor 95,

    WHUTZ AN APP ???????????/////

  4. Professor95 says:

    Oh my, Butterbean – You hit the nail on the head with that one!
    When we were growing up an APP was short for Application and an application was what you filled out if you wanted a job. Times do change!

    Russ – Your question needs to be answered by the people in charge of developing the APPS. I hope they read our posts and comments, so maybe an answer will be forthcoming.

    Doug – I’m with you.

    Thanks
    Randy

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